The school term is about to end. Year 2013 is about to end. All of the stress from work will soon end. But one thing is not reaching its end for sure, and that is my 2nd Book Project.
Apparently, NaNoWriMo was not enough motivation for me to finish a few chapters in my writing project[s]. The Christmas season is also not very conducive if one wants to simply make time to write for pleasure. However, I wonder if this holiday break will give me ample time to actually focus on this project, or all the stress from the Christmas rush will dawn upon me and activate hibernate mode.
It is probably because I am not a good writer that I can’t find any good motivation to keep me going. Or maybe because my passion and the field of my current profession exist in parallel dimensions. Probably, I’m just speculating a lot of different excuses in my mind which I can use whenever I rant about not finishing this writing project because I’m too shy to admit that I’m just one lazy bloke who could not afford any time to finish the writing projects I started.
Migraine attacks me like a thief in the night — unexpected and very untimely. Right now, I can’t even focus on writing anything (you wouldn’t believe how much effort I’ve spent writing this post).
On the brighter side of things, a new year is about to come and you know what that means. A chance to start anew with things left behind [unintentionally] during the previous year. I am very bad when it comes to being optimistic, but it wouldn’t hurt to hope for a bright sunshiny 2014 and to look forward to more wonderful things that may come with the new year.
Six months have passed and sadly, I have only moved a few sentences forward with my 2nd Book Project. I started this last May in order to have some sort of creative output. This project, which was mentioned in an earlier post, was inspired by some of the books which I [unfortunately] still haven’t finished. Amazingly, my mind subconsciously reminds me of this little writing project that I randomly open the file in my laptop and browse through it then just stare at the half-blank page.
I feel like a failure now after promising myself to not let anything get in the way of finishing this project, not even myself. Sadly, stress has eaten most of me that I resort to doing recreational no-brainer activities — of course, sleeping is number one on that list.
Pressure struck me since November is NaNoWriMo and I am certain that I can’t finish this novel within the month but my mind keeps nagging me that I should at least try to finish half or even just a quarter of it. I’m no expert in writing. Others may see me as a writer-wannabe who pretends he can actually write some good stuff out of his imagination. Probably there is a part of me who thinks that way that I actually am giving in to this pressure (or am I?).
No, I do not intend to finish this project by the end of the month — though that would be amazing if I could — but I do intend to at least make some progress this November. Maybe I should take away some of my leisure activities and just sit on my bed, turn my laptop on and play around with the keyboard until I end up adding even just one sentence to that half-empty space on my screen.
Let’s face it, not every one is fortunate enough to be living their dreams. Some may be blessed to be doing their passion for a living. But most of us are probably doing other stuff in order to live while our passion is left inside an antique chest along with all those memories when you can still wear a genuine smile on your face.
During the long weekend, I had a chance to once again do something out of passion. I took part as a member of the Audio Team in a production. When we had our technical dress rehearsal I was able to meet once again with one of my first love, the mixer console. It was bigger than the ones I’m used to when I was in College and it just felt so amazing seeing it again and being able to actually use it — because I usually see it a lot at work but never touch or use it.
All throughout the rehearsals I had that kilig feeling moving around the whole of me from head to toe. It felt like those days when I was still in College and my friends and I would do pre-production meetings and trying out how to mix the voices of our talents properly through experimenting with all the buttons and knobs on the console. I felt excited and really happy again. Of course, in any preparation there will always be a down time. But that type of stress seemed like good stress for me because it stimulates me to think creatively for solutions.
My whole being felt so alive especially during our performance day. It was my first time to be a crew for a live stage production. I was quite anxious and really excited because this production was an anniversary special, however, I was only used to doing school productions which usually had post-production where you can still edit the scoring and cut some scenes out if it doesn’t look good. When the audience started filling in the seats I felt my heart jump out of excitement and nervousness. The show ended successfully and it felt glorious by the time we were packing up. It was uplifting knowing that you took part in the success of something really wonderful.
It feels really refreshing to be doing something you’ve always loved doing but never had time to do since what keeps you alive is practicality and not passion. I really hope that I get to participate more in such creative projects so that I can wear genuine smiles more often. 🙂
What about you? Have you rekindled that burning passion you have hidden for so long? Share your experiences with me through the comment box. I’d love to hear from my readers. Thanks!
I am not the best writer there is, I admit. I’m probably not even a writer. But I do enjoy writing. For me, it is a form of art, an expression of feelings and ideas. I have written a lot of things for a lot of different reasons. Articles and editorial columns for the school paper, rants and random posts on my blog, even narratives and fan-fiction on online forums. Writing keeps my thoughts in order when they start flying around my mind in utter chaos.
Recently I have started to write a new story. I still haven’t decided whether it should be a fiction novel or a graphic novel, but I’m really driven to finish this project unlike my first try (which I might need to revisit since I still believe the concept is good). However, I got stuck after a few paragraphs and I can’t seem to find the inspiration to keep moving forward.
A lot has happened to me lately. Wave after wave of misfortune came to me like I’m in Lemony Snicket’s book series. These events have shaken me and I’m quite unstable and out-of-balance as of the moment that I can’t seem to push my 2nd Book Project forward.
Looking at it through a positive lens, I keep myself from falling any further and try to find more reasons to hold on to. I am truly stoked in finishing this project and I do hope that nothing, not even myself, can stop me from doing this.
Hopefully, what I’m experiencing now is just a very bad case of writer’s block which I can just shrug off by going out and taking a sip of coffee, or by consuming a tub of vanilla ice cream so I can continue on finishing my little project.
P.S. If you’re wondering why the title is labeled “II”, you may refer to the “I” through an old post in my other blog.