Recently I’ve reverted to doodling or doing simple sketches. Now I feel like I badly need to produce tons of creative output because it has been so long since I last created an artistic work or a good literary piece. I even bought a pen tablet so that I can directly make my drawings digital. But whenever I start facing my computer and opening certain programs — whether Photoshop, FireAlpaca or even Notepad — my fingers suddenly get stuck on the mouse pad making circles with the cursor while my brain tries to conceptualize what I want to draw or write. For example, a few minutes before actually writing this post I have already written around 150 words about something else which I randomly deleted leaving me once again with an empty Notepad window. Therefore I decided to just write about how I could not find the motivation to write something that would be worth reading or draw something worth seeing and sharing.
Some people tell me to just put it out there and let my creative juices flow whether or not it’s a great work just so I have an output. The point is to not stop writing or drawing until I finally get to the point when I am actually producing something wonderful. I feel sparks whenever I think about this advice. But apparently, it’s not enough to keep me bursting with enthusiasm.
At times, when people ask me why not just write something, I just give them a nonchalant shrug and say that it’s too cold for my brain to work (sure, blame it on the weather). There might be a connection between shorter, colder days and my brain’s creative juice shortage but probably that’s not the main reason why I just can’t make any creative outputs lately.
However, I am truly hoping that practicing with my new pen tablet would jumpstart my gears and make my brain overflow with creative juice once more.
Me: Yey! A pen tablet. Now I can do a lot of digital sketches! Brain: Hehe… Good luck with that. Me: T^T
Let’s face it, not every one is fortunate enough to be living their dreams. Some may be blessed to be doing their passion for a living. But most of us are probably doing other stuff in order to live while our passion is left inside an antique chest along with all those memories when you can still wear a genuine smile on your face.
During the long weekend, I had a chance to once again do something out of passion. I took part as a member of the Audio Team in a production. When we had our technical dress rehearsal I was able to meet once again with one of my first love, the mixer console. It was bigger than the ones I’m used to when I was in College and it just felt so amazing seeing it again and being able to actually use it — because I usually see it a lot at work but never touch or use it.
All throughout the rehearsals I had that kilig feeling moving around the whole of me from head to toe. It felt like those days when I was still in College and my friends and I would do pre-production meetings and trying out how to mix the voices of our talents properly through experimenting with all the buttons and knobs on the console. I felt excited and really happy again. Of course, in any preparation there will always be a down time. But that type of stress seemed like good stress for me because it stimulates me to think creatively for solutions.
My whole being felt so alive especially during our performance day. It was my first time to be a crew for a live stage production. I was quite anxious and really excited because this production was an anniversary special, however, I was only used to doing school productions which usually had post-production where you can still edit the scoring and cut some scenes out if it doesn’t look good. When the audience started filling in the seats I felt my heart jump out of excitement and nervousness. The show ended successfully and it felt glorious by the time we were packing up. It was uplifting knowing that you took part in the success of something really wonderful.
It feels really refreshing to be doing something you’ve always loved doing but never had time to do since what keeps you alive is practicality and not passion. I really hope that I get to participate more in such creative projects so that I can wear genuine smiles more often. 🙂
What about you? Have you rekindled that burning passion you have hidden for so long? Share your experiences with me through the comment box. I’d love to hear from my readers. Thanks!