cut through

Cut Me Through

I hear you whisper
sweetly to my ear
So inviting, you draw me
close to you with no fear

My hands trace along
your curves and your lines
I yearn for your embrace
and you thirst for mine

Your cold touch sparks
a fire inside of me
Suddenly filled with warmth
I’m drawn even closer to thee

You kiss my brown skin
as my mind started to beg
Until my senses turn numb;
my head, my arm, my leg

Slowly you caress me
and chills run through my spine
You go deeper through
as if telling me, “you’re mine”

A sudden shock eventually
brought me back to reality
I find myself on the floor
soaked in a red shining brightly

The secret affair was done
so you drop on the floor
As I try to keep awake
reaching for the door

I hear you whisper
seducing me once again
I see you and I wonder
what my mind truly wanted then

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silence

Silence

When all that’s left is silence,
there is nothing you can do
but to endure the cacophony of voices in your head
at two in the morning
in the middle of that cold dark room.
One tiny voice tries to scream
to keep the sanity inside that head
but the million other voices
seem to think otherwise.

When all that’s left is silence,
your senses seem more alive.
You can feel the darkness creeping in to your soul
freezing everything inside of you
as its claws touch your heart.
And even though the heart pumps more blood
to keep you warm as a sign of protest,
the darkness wins and you fall in to the cold pit
especially made for you.

When all that’s left is silence,
you begin to lose sight of the light.
You become trapped in an abyss
where not a single sign of hope is visible.
And no matter how you cry,
how you howl or scream or shout,
nothing will answer you back from all your whining.
Nothing at all, even your echo will be afraid
to reverberate within the emptiness.

When all that’s left is silence,
the past slowly walks in and fills the emptiness
with all of those moments, those memories
that you have been trying to erase with utmost effort.
Yet here they are, endlessly haunting you
and trying to bring back the excruciating pain
from the wounds you thought already healed.
Tears roll down your cheeks quietly because you already know
that crying out loud makes no difference.

When all that’s left is silence,
you suddenly find yourself bare and unarmed
in a duel against the scariest of foes.
It is ‘You of the Now’ against ‘You of the Then’
fighting for the right to be the ‘You of Tomorrow’.
Opening old wounds, creating new ones,
not realizing that neither one comes out unscathed.
In the end, the ‘You of Tomorrow’ will similarly be
scarred and scared of living.

When all that’s left is silence,
there’s nothing left to hold on to
as if every one you love has left you behind
empty, frozen, and unimaginably broken.
You hear voices screaming your name along with words
that make you doubt yourself even more.
All you are left with is a small piece of self-worth
that you keep in your pocket to push you forward
yet swiftly vanishes on the palm of your hands.

When all that’s left is silence,
you’d feel numb and beat and sore
from fighting your inner demons within the edges of your mind
as they burn your soul until it leaves you behind.
As always you find yourself alone and cold,
up against the things that scare you the most.
You even wonder what keeps you fighting,
you question yourself how you win each match
and end up facing a new day to live.

When all that’s left is silence,
you try your hardest to calm yourself down
so that sleep can finally embrace you
and tuck you under your warm blanket.
Only to be interrupted a few deep breaths later
as the sunlight creeps through the window sill
shedding light once again to your once cold dark room.
You open your tired eyes and reach out for your mask
trying to hide yesternight’s battle scars.

When all that’s left is silence,
you ask yourself, ‘What else can I do?’,
thinking that there’s no purpose to be in this world.
At the end of each day you find yourself
in the same state, so detached from reality.
Routinely putting your mask on and off
and continually fighting your inner foes,
you ultimately conclude that maybe it’s time
to finally succumb to the quiet.

hide-and-seek

Hide And Seek

I looked for you on your bed
but on it you were not
Neither hidden under the blanket
nor hugging the pillow you like a lot

I searched for you outside
under the moon and the stars
Yet even though the sun has risen
all I found were passing cars

I tried to look for you one time
at your favorite coffee shop
It was busy as usual, but then
your familiar face I found not

I passed by that little park
where you and I used to meet
But only to find our favorite bench
lonely and bare like my feet

I sat on the bench, tired and flustered
and watched the setting of the sun
As I waited for you to pick me up
and to another place we will run

I saw the moon smiling brightly at me
and the stars, in the night sky, dancing
Eyes started flooding — a waterfall!
On my cheeks, tears were rolling

I looked for you on your bed
but on it you still were not
Outside the door you were standing
and said sorry for forgetting to knock

It is tiring to play this game
Seems like you are always hiding
But what is really amusing is that
for you, I end up always seeking